As I write this I find myself with salty water pouring from my eyes traveling down the lines in my face as if they were meant as roadways leading my tears before finally dripping from my chin. My eyes so red and swollen I look like I had a run in with a huge swarm of bees. But don't let looks fool you. Although I may look a hot mess, I stand as strong as a statue, fighting through a horrific storm. God has built me to be this strong pillar, a pillar of strength. I have learned to listen to him and rely on him and never question him. I feel comfort knowing he is holding me strong in the test he provides. I find myself not crying out of pity, but rather for loss of innocence, the loss of innocence suffered by my boys. First Parker now Jackson. I find myself intrigued by their maturity and patience. I pray for their unwavering beliefs and continued strength. Parenting isn't something you do, it's an act of watching. The picture you see isn't always pretty but the outcome is usually a gorgeous reminder of how wonderful faith can be. After many unexplained medical issues with Jackson and one surgery later the pediatrician, with my insistence, ordered a full blood work up. They ran all autoimmune panels and the genetic test for the HLA-B27 antigen. I just received a call that all the results were positive and consistent with a rheumatic disease. Here we go again, only this time instead of fear of the unknown I find myself with fear of the known. I fear for the pain Jackson is likely to endure the same way Parker has had too. I am writing this asking all my prayer warriors to send one up for us today. I don't have time to update with all the details just asking for continued prayers today, tomorrow, and forever.