Thanksgiving

Wow it is hard to believe that it is that time of year again it seems like we just started 2009 and now it is quickly coming to an end. We have been so busy lately it seems like the time is flying by too fast. I found myself sitting on the couch tonight staring into the distance, I kept sitting there thinking of everything that needed to be accomplished before sunrise and I got to the point in my list in which I was convinced that it would be easier to sit there and fail then keep going and still fail. The kids and I are headed to the lake to spend the holidays with my Mom and Dad and me and my big mouth volunteered to make the side dishes for our Thanksgiving meal, which isn't a big task in its self but when I wait until 8pm the night before we are due to leave it was not as easy as it could have been, not to mention I still needed to pack for all three kids and myself, and clean house, and see to it that Mitch would have stuff to eat for the week and the list keeps going WHEW here I go again with my list making it is a bad habit I can't stop.....but anyways as I was sitting tonight feeling overwhelmed and looking for pity or magical fairies to do it all for me I realized what it was that we were getting ready to celebrate. Thanksgiving! It was amazing as I sat there and thought about it all the stress left me and I had an instant energy fill me. I took the focus off of the task at hand and focused on the hands on task in my life. If I would do that more I think my list making would slow down and my mind would rest you see it is the things we are thankful for that matter, not how much Christmas shopping has been accomplished or who is making what for what meal or the fact that the kids are destroying the house faster than humanly possible. I realized tonight that I always say I am thankful and in my prayers I list them all one by one but do I really take full recognition for all the blessings that surround me. Yes of course we are thankful for health in this house and for all the people who love and support us and for Mitch's great job, but what about for the sweet potatoes that a neighbor left on the front porch or the fly that landed on the Venus fly trap so that I didn't have to go hunt down the next bug to feed it, you see if we sit there and take inventory of our thanks the things that didn't happen or that need to happen don't seem like failures anymore. I am thankful for our clothes whether they are clean or dirty(which tonight are dirty) and I am thankful for the fact that I have the means in which I get to stay home and live this life with the three beautiful kids God has blessed me with. I know I am starting to make a list again but I think I would rather sit around and list the things I am thankful for over the things I need to do. So with this I want to tell each and everyone of you I am thankful for you and hope that you find that your blessings far out way your wants or needs. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I have been working on a project this week taking my home movies and transferring them to DVD's its amazing the moments that we can capture and always have to look back on. I have only made it through three movies because I find myself mesmerized and wanting to sit and catch every moment as if it were happening for the first time. As I watched the first four years of Parkers life I realized how different things were I found myself watching it wanting very much to be that young blissfully clueless mom that I was at that point in our lives. Things seemed so simple we lived in a very simple two bedroom apt. with mix matched hand me down furniture our love abundantly visible. Our dreams where huge and nothing was going to get in the way of our promising future. Little did that Mom on the tv know that life would change and normal would be way different than she could have ever imagined. I can't believe that I am the same person I sit there and watch on the t.v. I feel like I was cheated out of the ignorance she had I found myself wanting to reach out and slap her and say wake up and enjoy your healthy baby boy because there will be a day in the near future that your having to inject him with meds at home in your kitchen to keep him healthy. I have heard of people wanting what there neighbors of friends have but seriously I just want what I use to have. I want to be the mom that didn't have a sharps container on the kitchen counter or the mom that didn't have to lay in bed at night worrying about the future health and happiness of her baby. I wish I never had to here the words Ankylosing Spondylitis but I did and with God at my side I have weathered the last few years and will continue to do the same for the rest of my time here. I look towards the future and thank God for all that he has blessed us with up to this point. I think watching these videos has taught me to enjoy each day and don't anticipate the future that awaits you. God will be there to guide you through. Although that mom on the tv would have never know what awaited her I am proud of her ability to adjust for the baby she loves so much.