Do you ever feel like the world is spinning out of control and you are just standing still in the middle of all the chaos? It's like you know you need to do something, but what? As the whirlwind spins around you destroying things in it's path you just stand still like a statue unable to move, unable to help, unable to scream. You keep telling yourself that God is in control, that you can survive this, but can you? I received a call this morning from Parker's doctor. The second I heard his voice my whirlwind started, as he proceeded to give me Parker's test results I just went numb that experience you have in a dream when you need to run but all the sudden your legs don't work. I was listening and praying all at the same time, I was trying to get my heart to slow down and my mind to speed up but it was no use I just froze. As he was done telling me the plan from here on out I was desperately searching for something to say, anything, a question a concern but it was useless I just sat there in silence. I could tell he realized what he had just done, how the words he just spoke would set this family on a different course. As we ended our call and hung up it was like the gates were open and all of my emotions came flooding through me. I was crying, screaming, and shaking all at one time. I tried desperately to stop but I couldn't everything was echoing in my head and the last 10 years of my life played through my mind like a slide show at warp speed, what was happening? I was screaming at God to keep me strong and help me battle the demons that were telling me it was hopeless. All I wanted was for my life to go back to normal, and then the phone rang again. No it wasn't the doctor calling to tell me he was wrong or that Parker was cured like I hoped but it was God giving exactly what I needed. Parker called to see if I would pick him up because he had a migraine. I quickly tried to gather my composure and headed to his school, after signing him out he came down the hallway. He looked fine to me not like normal when he is suffering from a migraine. When we got in the car he turned to me and said he was feeling much better but since I had driven all the way there and since he was already signed out we should go on a date together just the two of us. That is exactly what I needed, a sign from above that although things seem like they are spinning out of control and although I might feel useless sometimes a little thing like a lunch date is enough to help everybody. We enjoyed a great lunch together talking and bonding without anyone else. I know that whatever God is wanting for us it is good and we just need to trust in him even through our trials not only through our triumphs.
At this point we do know that Parker has been diagnosed with Juvenile Ankylosing Spodylitis and we also know that he will be started on a biologic, probably Remicade in the next couple of weeks or so. We are happy to tell you guys that at this point Parker is doing fine and doesn't seemed phased in a negative way with all of this that is going on so we are going to do our best to keep his life as normal as possible. As always your prayers are greatly appreciated and we will keep you updated.